So this story is a week old, but I heard it referenced on Wait Wait—Don't Tell Me! today and couldn't stop laughing (the kind that masks a deep sense of sadness and disbelief).

In her final salute to the environmental community before stepping down as Secretary of Interior, Norton has proclaimed the fight to protect our wetlands a success!

"For the first time since we began to collect data in 1954, wetland gains have outdistanced wetland losses."

I know, you're just sitting there trying to figure it out. What's the catch? They must be using some mathematical sleight of hand, right? What sneaky trick have they employed?

If you guessed this your a spinmaster ready for the big leagues:

The definition of wetlands was expanded to encompass reservoirs, storm water management facilities, and ponds including newly created ones on golf courses springing up across the country!

For Norton, the loss of wetlands is offset by the increase in water traps nationwide. I wish my math teacher had accepted reasoning like that.